A Eulogy for Little Bear

Like most people, over the years there are many things that I’ve wished for… Like most kids, I wanted a dog, but not just any dog, I wanted my OWN dog. And by the grace of all that is good, (well in actuality thanks to the Romero’s and my mom) I had one of the best.

The day we met seems like it was yanked straight from a TV sitcom, The sky was the bluest of hues and few tufts of white clouds hung about like as if they had nothing better to do. I remember James saying “the puppies came last night!” and the next thing I know the bell rings and we’re dashing down the street.

I remember peeking over the divider and there you were, just a tiny mound of black and red fur buried in a little puppy pyramid. It was quiet at first, then we quietly spoke, I stood thinking “which one shall it be?” Right then you decided to pidder-paddle your way over to me as if to say “hey guy!” You stumbled a bit (on the count of being blind and all) and that’s when I knew, it was me and you pups. A dude and his dog.

I don’t remember when I first called you Little Bear, but that’s what you were… a little version of Bear. Just as bossy and active, you’d out smart or out maneuver all your other siblings. Every day I’d come over to play with you, then eventually we took you home and you became part of our family. Throughout my tumultuous life I haven’t had too many constants, well, positive ones rather… and now I may, no I KNOW that I have lost one of the best ones.

For a boy’s first dog you were great, you set the bar so unbelievably high that I don’t think any successors will ever match it. You’re the Bill Russell of dogs, even Lassie could take notes. You learned everything so unbelievably fast and read every situation perfectly, reacting so I wouldn’t even have to say anything at all. Many a time I snuck in late or drunk or whatever, and you kept it mum so as not to rouse an alarm. You bore my secrets and were my confidant and my anchor, you’d console me when I was down and nobody read me like you… My own personal silent bob, you’d listen intently and even go as far as to take your red paws and put em on my knee at the appropriate times as if to say “there there.”

You were a gentleman of a dog, in everything that you did. You didn’t like to sit on the floor, you preferred a couch or at the least we must put a rug down. When you drank water you didn’t like to make a mess and get your nose wet… You didn’t like to fight but when you had to, you could roll up your sleeves and fisticuff. When you sat down you always crossed your legs. Bath time and getting brushed was always a favorite for you, despite not having much fur you liked to keep yourself well groomed. Looking back I regret not getting you a bowtie for Halloween or fancy occasions, you would’ve loved to kick it up a notch.

This world is a much too sad and negative a place for such a great soul. You spent 11 wonderful years with us here and It was a blessing to have you with us. I wish now more than ever that I believed in heaven, just so I knew you were in a better place. As far as reincarnation works (IF it works) Bear dog, you stacked up sooo much positive karma this go around you’re bound to come back as a dragon. I know they haven’t been around in a minute but if anyone deserves it, it’s you.

They say the good die young; I wish you would’ve been just a little bad so we could’ve held onto you for just a little longer, but that’s just not how you rolled was it? I can only think it was heartache that took you from us, there was nothing wrong with your health… You loved too much and too openly and everyone either passed or moved away on you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you and I’m sorry that I took your partner in crime, Adolfio, away as well (He says he misses you, but I don’t think he grasps the situation). Forever will I think that it’s my fault for not being there in the time of your greatest need, I’m sorry my friend. I’m sorry.

It’s fitting that you leave us on such a horrendous day, there’s a hurricane set to come in. You will always live on in my heart my friend, my bear dog, my pookie bear… I love you buddy, hope our paths cross again someday.

Burn it all away.

I want to crack open all the oil tankers like multicolored pills and pour their inky blackness into the oceans.

The forests and jungles are the tinder, our ignorance and meaningless existences is just the fluff used to puff things up.

The asphalt covered earth is the flint, or perhaps our own personal spit to spin our lives like meat upon a rotisserie?

Catch a fire! One quick strike, a spark and we're off to the funeral pyres.

Chemical burns and acid rains. The sky smolders, the smoke slowly chokes on the smog.

Fat sizzles against the flame, burning fast and furious, the fire flails wildy at the sky, reaching effervescently towards the heavens.

The earth and oceans burn savagely against each other, competing fiercely for the air that remains. Even in death our hunger remains, we don't want to burn first so we'll all burn alone.

I know where to get chicken soup, but where do I go for chemotherapy of my soul?